Valentines Horror Story

Yes, there is the feeling of dread, once a year, when some make their way through aisles of cards, candies and flowers, hoping to find the right one to convey their feelings. They know from February 15th of the previous year that February 14th, Valentines Day will come again, but they wait and it starts all over again.

But...

Nothing, nothing can compare to the horror that occurred in my very home on Valentines day a few years ago. I hesitate to even tell you this story. I shudder to think that it is a true story! And I.. well, I dare not say more...

Reader beware! The color will drain from your cheeks and you may run from the room screaming, but know you have been warned, if you choose to continue reading. It's only by writing this, that I can purge it from the collection of nightmares in my mind....

I aquired the name Mimi from my grandkids. Stephanie, coined the name and it has stayed with me. On this Valentines day, Stephanie and her younger brother TJ had slept over. And of course, it being Valentines day, I wanted to make them a fancy breakfast before they went to school. I had it all planned. I own a waffle maker that cooks up heart shaped waffles. Perfect! Strawberries, whipped cream and real maple syrup would give them something to talk about at school. Oh, they would just love their Mimi and her special breakfast.

The waffle iron was heating and giving off that hot grease smell. The indicator light would turn green just as I finished making the batter.

I have made waffles for years, barely even needing a recipe. So, I grabbed flour, baking powder, a pinch of salt and a handful of sugar, mixing all the dry ingredients together. I don't even need to measure any more. Like any seasoned cook, I just eyeballed it, estimating the proportions.

The wet ingredients next.. eggs, milk and oil. The batter would turn out soft and thick and make waffles that were puffy light inside and crispy outside. (You can tell I just love waffles, can't you?)

I reached up in the cupboard, selected the oil and opened it, pouring in just the right amount. Next would be the milk and eggs.

When I opened the refrigerator, there was an odor of something bad. What was that?! Wow! Did I need to clean the fridge?! I sniffed and sniffed, wondering if there was hamburger that had spoiled, though there was no meat in there. The smell invading my senses was of tainted rotting meat. It was overpowering actually. What was it?! I decided that I would thoroughly inspect the fridge after breakfast. I needed to get going because the kids had to get to school.

Bleah. Still smelling that malodorous smell.

When it happened.

I turned to add the milk and the eggs to the batter and I saw it.And I screamed and screamed and screamed! Omigawd!!!!!

Inside the very bottle of oil, was the bloated, grey matted body of a mouse!!!!!!It had swelled so much it's drowned body nearly filled the entire bottle!!!

How the hell did it get in there!!!!Omigawd!!! I kept screaming! And the kids tried to run into the kitchen to seeBut, I wouldn't let them see! Holy crap! What if I had made this batter and cooked deadly waffles that would have killed my grandkids!

I kept screaming! I threw a dishtowel over the bottle. Still the kids persisted in trying to look.I couldn't, wouldn't let them. I was like one of those people who panics and needs to be slapped back to consciousness!

I called their grandfather at his work. Hysterical.He thought someone had been murdered.

I rinsed out the bowl and threw it in the trash. I picked up the dishtowel wrapped bottle of mouse oil andpromptly threw it in the trash.Tying up the trash bag immediately, brought it outside.

Stephanie said, "Mimi, I don't think I'm hungry anymore" And I wasn't hungry anymore either. We settled for peanut butter toast, barely getting that down with a glass of orange juice.I still have no idea how a mouse got into a closed bottle of oil. It sickens me to think of it now.

Valentines day will never be the same. No amount of chocolates, candies, flowers or romantic cards will take away the memory of that day.My grandchildren will recall for the rest of their lives.It will be a story told several times at my funeral.The Valentines day that Mimi almost made the deadly waffles.

Afterthoughts.. we have made waffles that are tender on the inside, crispy on the outside and made with love. And, flour,sugar, baking powder, salt, eggs and milk.

And a bit of oil, from a well inspected bottle.

Served with strawberries, cream and some real maple syrup